i ate a small gluten free and vegan pizza and 3 oil soaked garlic rolls, by myself, tonight.
it couldve been worse. it couldve not been vegan or gluten free and it couldve been a large. but regardless, one slice is considered part of the 21 day fix meal plan i am following; an entire small pie plus garlic knots is not.
i am telling you not to beat myself up, but to be accountable. i am going through whats becoming a long, drawn out, breakup, i ate my feelings today, and i do not feel like a failure because of it.
of course some people will say “ashley, eating your feelings is going back into old patterns and youre going to slip back into the old you” which i can understand. but heres how i see it. even 140lbs lighter and more than 3 years into my lifestyle change, i fight the urge to eat my feelings almost EVERY SINGLE DAY. even when i am not going thru a breakup i fight these feelings. i dont just want to eat when i am sad. i want to eat when i am happy and when i am frustrated and when i am mad and when i am nervous and when i am celebrating. any emotional high or low i experience makes me want to EAT. i resist this urge probably 360 out of 365 days a year. to me, that is a success.
if i beat myself up over this i will wake up feeling like crap about myself tomorrow and it’ll lead into a downward spiral of falling off track. i refuse. i ate the damn pizza. i am owning it. and tomorrow morning i will be running on the beach and drinking shakeology and following my meal plan to a T.
this is not a sprint, its a marathon, and we will be running for the rest of our lives. know when to be tough, but also know when to cut yourself a little slack. today i need slack.